As many as 44 million Americans care for older parents, in-laws, grandparents and other older loved ones.

Some older adults need only a little assistance from family caregivers; for example, help with shoveling snow, or rides to and from the grocery store. Others need a lot of help with daily activities like eating, bathing, dressing, taking medications and managing money. Over time, an older adult often needs increasing help from caregivers.

While caring for an older family member can be one of the most rewarding experiences of a lifetime, it can also be stressful and frustrating. This is especially likely if the older adult has dementia or needs around-the-clock care.

Most family caregivers are spouses or children. They may have age-related health problems of their own, small children to care for, or work outside the home. Sometimes, providing care for an older relative can be extremely distressing and lead to caregiver burnout.

To avoid caregiver burnout, it’s important to get help before caregiving becomes overwhelming. If you’re caring for an older loved one, the American Geriatrics Society’s Foundation for Health and Aging (FHA) suggests:

•Getting information: Learn as much as you can about your older loved one’s health problems and needs and how these are likely to change over time. This will help you plan and prepare for these changes. Learning about options for care that your loved one may need in the future — such as help from a home aide, assisted living or nursing home care — can also help you prepare for and feel more secure about your loved one’s future.

The FHA offers Eldercare at Home, a wealth of information on caring for an aging loved one. You can find a free, printable version online at http://www.healthinaging.org/public_education/eldercare/.

•Helping your loved one help himself or herself: Doing something as simple as putting a special, no-slip seat in the shower or bath; installing grab bars in the bathroom and near your loved one’s bed; moving kitchen supplies to lower shelves; or getting easy-grip can openers and other utensils can make it possible for an older relative to keep doing certain things independently.

•Asking trustworthy family, friends and neighbors for assistance: Perhaps a neighbor can take your home-bound loved one to the grocery store once a week, or your sister could contribute meals on weekends. Explain what needs to be done, but try not to criticize if others don’t care for your loved one in exactly the way you would. The important thing is that his or her needs are met.

•Taking care of yourself, too: Eating well, exercising, and taking time to relax and enjoy yourself will help to avoid burnout. If you are taking care of yourself, you’ll be able to take better care of your aging family member.

•Not taking it personally: If your older relative has dementia or other mental or emotional problems, he or she may act out or say hurtful things. Remind yourself that this behavior is a result of his or her illness. Try not to take it to heart.

•Talking about it: Talking about your experiences and feelings can make caregiving less stressful. Joining a caregiver support group in your area will give you a chance to share your thoughts, feelings and information with others in similar circumstances.

•Contacting professionals and organizations that assist caregivers: A wide array of programs, agencies, organizations and individuals in your community can help you manage the challenges of caring for an older relative. This assistance may be free, or available at low cost.

 The following agencies and people can help you find the help you need:

•Fiftypluscaregivers.com offers a complete listing of companies, programs and services.

•Your local Area Agency on Aging is your best resource.

Among other things, an Area Agency on Aging caseworker can visit you and your loved one and give you information about different sources of the help you need, how much this help might cost, and how you can get financial assistance.

•Other community agencies such as the local United Way and religious organizations such as Catholic Charities or the local Councils of Churches can also help you find help.

•Social workers at hospitals or home health agencies, and specially trained social workers called geriatric care managers can help, too assistance.

Among other things, these groups and individuals can help you locate the following kinds of help:

• Financial — assistance and advice on paying for the services your loved one needs; including assistance completing necessary paper work.

• Transportation — to take your loved one shopping or to and from medical appointments, for example.

• Meals — including help preparing meals in your loved one’s home and meals delivered to his or her home.

• Respite care services — which send trained helpers to your loved one’s home so you can take a break
 
• Reliable “home helpers” — people who can visit your loved one for an hour or two at a time to help with bathing, light housekeeping, cooking, and errands.

• Adult day care — centers where your older loved one can go for several hours during the day for care supervised by health care staff. This care usually includes social programs, recreation and meals. Special adult day care programs are available for people with dementia, depression and social problems.

• Home nursing services — including visits from Registered Nurses, private duty nurses, nurses aides and hospice staff.